3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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