I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
