I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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