Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
