dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
