So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
