I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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