Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I will pee on everything he values.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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