i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
