Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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