Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
