I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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