Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
