Say something about gay babies.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
