toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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