I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
