Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
