If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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