spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
