are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
