Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
