Its about making memories worth repressing
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
