nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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