i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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