Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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