it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
