he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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