I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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