That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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