the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
oh god was she eating orange peels again
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
