I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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