you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
