I want to make a zoo with you.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
