My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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