i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
