Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
