it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
