My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
