let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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