Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
