she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
