ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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