Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
