If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
