I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
