i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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