would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
