capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
