After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
