this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
