I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
